I'm sorry, eu no falo...

‘… And we also have a visitor here from the United States named Victor. He is new to the Church and to Maxixe and will be with us for the next two years… is he here today? I didn’t see him.’

*Oh crap. Should I pretend I didn’t understand? Wait, what are you saying?! Get up there… if this were the States you’d already be up there addressing the crowd.*

‘Oh there he is. Would you like to say something?’ He motions for me to come forward.
I stand up and walk to the front of the Church. I can feel everyone’s glare on the back of my neck and I’m a bit uneasy as I get ready to introduce myself before a large crowd of people in a language that I just started learning in August.

I reach the podium and the announcer repeats his invitation for me to speak. ‘Just a few words about you and what you’re doing here would be nice.’

*Ok. I can do this.*

‘Good… Good morning. My name is Victor Perez and I work for the Peace Corps. Yes… I am from the United States and I’m glad to be living here in Maxixe for the next few years. Thank you so much for your welcome and…well… I’m very happy to be here. Thank you.’

*Wow, Vic. Nice. Way to explain your job. ‘I work for the Peace Corps.’ Brilliant… because I’m sure they all know what that is… sigh… ok, ok just go sit down…*

‘Thank you very much, Victor. Now for our next…’

That was the scene in my new Church, Sagrada Familia, a few Sundays ago when I went to the earlier Mass for the first time. Funnily enough, that was actually my third time introducing myself before a congregation here, the first being back in October when I arrived in Namaacha for training… so I had some practice. What was the big deal then? For one, thanks to my nerves, my Portuguese vocab just went out the door the minute I stepped up to address the congregation. A crowd isn’t a big deal, but a crowd that may not understand what you are saying and/or may look down on you slightly for your limited language ability is something to worry about.

It’s such a frustrating thing when a person opens her mouth to speak and she knows that no matter what she says, the other person is not going to be able to fully understand and appreciate her thoughts or feelings. Maybe just as wearisome is when she cannot completely understand what the other person is trying to communicate.

Portuguese for me has been an adventure. It and this experience in general have already challenged me in ways I didn’t even know I could be challenged in. Some days I feel like I’m getting it after having a conversation about… say… the US electoral system with a Mozambican. Meanwhile there are the other days as well when I say something simple, think the other person understands, and then pause as I notice their blank stare. That’s life though. . . Take it for the good and take it for the bad. Live and learn from your mistakes.

On a side note, while I’m thinking about it, I can honestly say that I feel a lot closer to my father even with us being so far apart. Granted I’ve only been here for four-ish months, but I can at least picture what it must have been like for him to move to a country and attend school where he didn’t understand a vast majority of what people were saying. What he did and I guess ultimately what I have to do in this situation then is to just give it time.

Yes I started learning Portuguese a few months ago and yes I have been living in it for almost as long, but I am getting a little better everyday with each new word, phrase, or pronunciation I learn. With any luck, the next time I have to introduce myself in front of a group of people or even have a basic conversation I can feel a bit more comfortable knowing that in the end things will get better in the span of two years... they have to right? :)