A Brief Rundown on a Traditional Wedding

Not too long ago, my friends Nick, Anne, and I attended a traditional ‘Mozambican wedding’ for our buddy Shaun and his girlfriend Epifânia.

Now, before I go any further, let me just explain that I qualify the words ‘Mozambican’ and ‘wedding’ for two reasons: First, while Epifânia is indeed a Mozambican woman, her fiancée Shaun is an American, ex-Peace Corps Volunteer from Boston. Second, the ceremony that took place was not a wedding in the sense that it used to be back twenty or thirty years back. No, it was a ring ceremony; a way for Shaun to ask permission from Epifânia’s family for her hand in marriage, in exchange for requested goods, in accordance with local tradition.

When we arrived at the house of Epifânia’s family; Nick, Anne, and I found Shaun waiting in the living room with a few friends. As he explained to us, he pulled up to the house and was met by Epifânia’s aunts singing as they processed towards the car. One of the aunt’s put a sheet over his head, picked him up (and Shaun’s a taller guy mind you), put him on her back, and carried him to the spot where we found him.

When we asked Shaun what was supposed to happen afterwards, he told us that he had to wait until the family called so they could put a sheet over his head again, lead him to the bathing bucket and have him wash up before he put on his suit for the ceremony. Apparently he was supposed to not use all of the water and then leave some money by the tub when he finished.

As we waited for Shaun to finish his bath then, I asked a friend from the University what these traditions were about. Why the sheets and the separation from everything? And interestingly enough, neither he nor anyone else I asked seemed to know what the reasons were. It’s still shrouded in mystery to this day…

Finally, Shaun and Epifânia came out and sat in chairs across from her entire family with nothing between them except an esteira (straw-ish) mat laid out on the ground and a suitcase on top. As the ceremony continued, a woman opened the suitcase and took out all of the gifts that Shaun had brought. She would say something in Xitswa and then Shaun and Epifânia would walk on their knees with the items in hand to give to the father, mother, aunts, grandmother, etc; who would in turn impart words of wisdom or a blessing on the couple. Then Shaun and Epifânia would walk on their knees back to their chairs until the next gift was ready to present.

Flash forward past the delicious food and the party chit-chat, and we arrive at what was, in my opinion, one of the best parts of the party. As Nick Anne and I stood watching, guests moved down the row towards the couple in song and dance to give them their presents. ‘No Joao, you can’t just leave presents on a table and wait for the thank you card in the mail 3 weeks later, you need to bring your present to the couple while singing and dancing… I hope you brought your dancing shoes…’ Needless to say, Nick, Anne, and I had an awesome time dancing our card up to Shaun and Epifânia as the women around us sang songs and clapped.

After that, they had a local dance group get up on the dance floor and bust a move as everyone sat down kind of tired from the gift giving. ‘But no… we must dance more!’ Everyone seemed to say as they got up anyways. A bunch of booty-shaking songs later, I found myself in a dance off with some members of the dance troupe. I’d like to claim a moral victory on that one, but am glad it wasn’t caught on video… :)

Yeah, but that was it… Seven hours of awesomeness that honestly felt like two and enough dancing that Nick and I even decided by the end that our own weddings would be much better off if they were more like Shaun’s. Here’s hoping wedding number three of the season comes sooner than later…